Those who can't, blog.

I used to paint a lot ..about 10 years ago. I was never an amazing artist, and there were a lot of people better than me, even in my high school art class. However, I was always told that even though the technique was not there and my sense of symmetry was non-existent, I had talent to paint. I believe that to be true. So I started painting again since moving, after not doing it , at all, for 10 years. It has really helped me to remain calm, because ADHD-wise..things have been getting progressively harder since I moved here and don't have Andrew to keep me in line and at least somewhat calm and focused (that is a whole other thing to write about in some other post) ...so I seem to be having a problem with my painting that I remember having before. I kinda paint something and it looks really good, the brush strokes are fluid, the light is bouncing off it in just the right way and I start to think I am pretty awesome at this game..but then I have to paint more and thats when it all falls apart. It gets muddy, it gets flat and boo..I start to mix my colors fast and wash my brush off in my water jar with a great deal of force and roughness..cause I am mad that I lost that beautiful stroke, that perfect stroke and how am I ever going to get it back? BAH! I am getting mad just writing about it.

quickie pros and cons

So much to say, as I haven't written  in almost a month, but it has been one hell of a month.
I am in Nelson and there is a lot to talk about. I have had a lot of experiences since I have arrived here that I didn't expect, both good and bad. It is too late to write much now but I thought I would just break it down a little in a neat "pros" and "cons" list.

Cons:
-It has cost me way more to move here than I initially anticipated so now I am a bit worried about money.
-The suite that I rented, sight unseen, was definitely not what I was expecting.
-I miss Andrew and Agent.
-There are spiders here that could give my dog a run for her money and they like to get on my bed.
-There are mice and although I have not seen one in my suite, I am about 98% sure one has died in my walls and my house REEKS all the time.
-I live a lot more uphill than was expecting, so walking home from downtown is killer hard.

Pros:
-It is beautiful here in the fall, I have never seen so many colors, I love it.
-The lady renting me my suite, who lives upstairs, is intensely nice and we seem to get on well.
-I get to spend a lot of time with my awesome friend ( who has no fancy blog name) and I am really, really enjoying that.
-It feels really great to have so much personal space.
- I have met a few really awesome people so far and look forward to meeting more.

So thats all for now, hopefully I will get back in to doing this with some regularity again soon.

Event Horizon

So it kind of just hit me. I might be moving to Nelson as soon as a week from now. Wow. I am excited and nervous and anxious.It seems like I am standing on the event horizon of a black hole of the unknown. I am excited because I have been waiting for what seems like forever to make it happen, even though it has actually only been a few months ( but for someone with no patience for things, it seems like an eternity), I am excited for all the potential for new adventures and memories and stories. I am also really nervous. I have been living in Edmonton since I was 20 years old and even though I have been anxious to leave for awhile, the possibility of doing so has never seemed so real, so imminent, as it is now. It's not even a possibility anymore, it is a fact. Because I am going ahead of Andrew by almost a year, I am going to be totally alone in living for the first time in ... 6 years, if you count room mates and such that I have lived with. It's a wild and scary exciting thought. I am so happy that my friends (who I don't have special blog names for, so they shall be referred to as "The friends") are there and that they seem excited for my arrival as well. That is going to make it much easier I know. I am going to miss Andrew, just the fact of having someone with you all the time. I know that I am going to enjoy this all and I am confident I can do it but ...it's ok to be a little scared, isn't it?

Home sweet home.

I got a call today that made my week, my month, my year! I was in the running for a 2 bedroom basement suite in Nelson and suffice to say it was a bit of an up and down situation. The landlord (land lady? land person?) had posted the ad and got an overwhelming response, far beyond what she had expected. So, despite the fact that we seemed to get on well on the phone, and after much calling back and forth and exchanging of emails, she decided to rent in to a young couple there. I understood and there was no hard feelings, but I was a little bummed about it. Then about an hour later she called to say the people she was going to rent to had flaked out on her and the suite was back up for the taking. We spoke at length and I was really pleased that she thought to call me first, after all, there are a lot of people looking for places to rent in Nelson. In any case, she asked if I would like to have it and outlined what would need to be done in order for me to secure it for myself. I agreed to the terms and also agreed to move out a month earlier than I had intended to, which is fine really because I can't wait to just get out there. So I spoke to Andrew about the whole thing and with a little twisting and turning of finances, I was able to offer her the deposit she had asked for and now the rental agreement is sitting in my email inbox waited to be printed and signed and sent off back to her.

She sounds just lovely and we seem to share a sense of humour, which I am really pleased about.
I now just need to find a way to get there and... the best bit is, I can take Jezebel with me!

Wish me luck, my non existent readers, and know that if you want something bad enough, the Universe will provide.

Oh and when I got the news, this is the dance I did, just so you know

Money Money Money

I got the money!!!!
We just got the call from the bank this morning, we are approved 100% ..all we need to do is sign the papers and get that fat deposit. Such a weight has been lifted from my shoulders! Now to find a place that is right for me and boom goes the dynamite! Nelson, here I come!!

I am really irritated right now. I am looking for a place to live in Nelson, but no one will return my calls. I have tried to contact 5 different people to follow up on ads I have found online. Some of these ads were placed no more than a day or two before I called, so I can reasonably assume that the places have not been taken yet. Still waiting to hear about the money, which should happen by tomorrow or the next day. But if I can't find a place to live, that might be the end of the process of moving to Nelson. 

I am also really feeling lonely these days. I miss my ex. Which is stupid because I know it is not her I miss, but what I thought she was that I miss. I have been so tempted to call her or text her in the last few days but I know that if I do, she will either not want to talk to me, or I will find out that nothing has changed and it will lead nowhere. I am just lonely. 

I am starting to wonder if anything I want is ever going to happen. I know that sounds defeatist of me, and I try to stay positive...but I feel like I am doing everything I can to make things happen for me and I am getting nothing but resistance. I really believe that if you are doing something you should be, that if you are following the right path, that things will fall into place easily. It has been my experience that that is true. With all the walls I am running into at this point regarding this move and also with romantic things .. I am seriously starting to doubt if I am doing the right thing...but if this isn't the right thing then I have no idea what is. And that is terrifying. 

dude, that is Rawsome!

I have heard of the raw food style of eating a number of times over the years. I have had the pleasure of trying various raw food dishes at different times with raw friends. I always liked it but never thought of ever trying it out myself. I mean honestly, give up cooked foods?! But what about pasta? What about delicious cakes and cookies? What about heavenly veggie stir-frys, not to mention chicken, steak and *gasp* BACON?! What about... well, what about everything? Why would you stop eating all those delicious things? Well, truth is, I am an unwell person. I ache like I imagine a senior citizen does, it hurts to get out of bed, my joints ache and my head aches. I have PCOS which, if you are not familiar with it, is a endocrine disease that causes a plethora of health problems including acne, obesity, intense fatigue, depression and infertility among others. I just don't feel well. I have been wanting desperately to find something to increase my health and wellness and also to change my outlook on life. It is indescribably difficult to be 28 years old and have a body that functions about as well as a ill 60 year old.  So  I was up one night ( thanks insomnia) cruising Youtube and happened to come across the videos of a few different raw foodists. To be honest, I can't even recall what lead me there but there I was. I started watching a few and heard them talk about things like "living foods" and how eating raw ( or being raw, because they really do treat it as a way of being, not just a way of eating) changed thier lives. They said they were ill or sick, they had bad skin, bad digestion and no energy. They stated that after they became raw they were full of energy, full of life, vital. Now, I am not a push over, I am not easily convinced, I was dubious of their claims. Very. However, the more I watched, the more they sort of started to make sense, even if they were not right about what raw food living could do for me, one thing was sure, my method of health was is not working. Period. So what could I lose, honestly?..none of them were telling me I had to buy this that or the other thing ( note: I will provide links below to these videos/blogs, and all of them are indeed selling things, but you don't have to buy them, it is not at all required and they, for the most part, do not try to tell you different) indeed mostly, these people are offering a wealth of information for free.

So it began, I started off with juice. Ok people.. honestly, I have never had juice like this in my life. I bought an inexpensive juicer (Superstore PC brand) and started juicing everything I could get my hands on, combining all sorts of veggies and fruits and spices. Not all of these combinations were good, in fact some of them have been down right repulsive, but the majority of them are delicious like you wouldn't believe. Also, the effects of these juices, which are basically concentrated fruits and veg, are immediate and magnificent. I have dubbed it being "high on the juice". I start every day with a "green juice" (look below for a recipe) and I can say without doubt that it is better than coffee, you get the most wicked, alert buzz...you wouldn't believe it!

I have also been trying various other raw foods including raw nuts and seeds, these I have not quite gotten a handle on yet because one thing that becomes very apparent almost immediately after you begin a predominately raw food way of eating is you digestive system is weak, dude..like..serious. After years of eating mostly processed and refined foods, your tummy has forgotten how to do it's job and when you introduce food that is uncooked and fibrous, and therefore more difficult to break down, your guts are like "WTF?"
That is way I am really digging the juicing at the moment. It takes all the rich vital nutrients, vitamins and minerals out of all that fruit and veg and concentrates it down in to a easy to digest and simple to absorb drink that is so gentle on your tummy yet incredibly filling at the same time.

I have been eating about 50-60% raw for the last week and a half and I cannot tell you how cool it is. I am not sure if it will last forever and I cannot say that I will ever be 100% raw, but that is not a concern for me. I just want to keep trying it out for as long as I can and learning more and more about it. I like that I have found some info on this lifestyle that is not dogmatic at all. There is a lot of dogma in the raw food community about what you should and shouldn't eat, how complicated your recipes have to be and what tools and gadgets you should use, but i don't care about any of that. I just want to see how long I can be RAWsome!! I will be updating this blog as often as it seems fit to do so about how this is all coming along for me and any physical or mental changes I experience. In the mean time, if you want to know more about any of this, please see the links below and here is a great green juice recipe to get you started if you want to try it out yourself, even if you just want to be HIGH ON THE JUICE!!!!

• 1 bunch spinach leaves
• 2 celery sticks
• 1 handful of parsley
• Half a cucumber
• 2 green apples
• 1 slice of ginger (about 1 inch long, less if you don't like ginger)
• spirulina (optional)

Put all ingredients through juicer and enjoy! If you don't have a juicer, peel the ginger and apples and cut all veg up smaller and remove strings from celery and blend well. Blending with not be as smooth and won't be as easy to digest, but it will still be delicious!

Some awesome vids/blogs: 

Raw Radiant Health Youtube channel

 Natasha St. Micheal's awesome vids about all things raw, including raw beauty!

Raw Reform

The awesome blog of  Angela Stokes

Life Regenerator's Youtube channel

 Dan McDonald' s amazing videos..If you want some seriously intense energy and inspiration as well as THE BEST juicing recipes ever!!