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I knew I could never save it, it was doomed from the start.
I had seen the end of the story and I knew no matter what I did it would die, it would be gone, taken from me.
This did not stop me.

"Love" is a paltry word, meaningless and full of short comings. I spit the word "love" out of my mouth like a distasteful morsel of food, a rotten piece of fruit, it is a dirty word that lacks power and could never encompass this feeling I have...this feeling that is all consuming , down to my core, it makes me ache, physically pains me and I pulsate with it.
This feeling is a thousand tidal waves crashing into me, slamming me on rocks. It is the tearing and ripping and rendering of meat from my heart.
It is all the power of all the emotions in the world stuffed into me until I am engorged and going to explode with it.
I cannot have this feeling , I am filled with a screaming sadness and desire when I realise this cannot be real, is not real, and no matter what I do, it will be taken away from me.
It will be ripped from me like a dream is ripped upon sudden waking, only to linger and tease and taunt and then slowly fade through the day until all that is left is a residue that cannot be clung to.. an oily blackness  staining my hands , too slippery to grasp.
Dissolve slowly and then gone.