6/25/10

The end

So my relationship with my girlfriend is..I don't know what it is. Right now I feel like it is over. She has changed enormously in the last couple of months and the path she is on now does not fit with me.
I am mad about it and upset. She pretty much took everything we were planning...our little sustainable farm, our potential child and all the things we wanted to build together and tossed it out the window in favor of this "spiritual journey" she is on, which I don't understand.
We have not really had much contact with each other in the last week or so and that combined with a number of things prompted me to sit down and have a good talk with her yesterday. I broached the subject of the amount of drugs she has been using lately, which bothers me a great deal because I am concerned for her well being and i honestly do not believe there is any drug in the world you can use with frequency that will not have a negative effect on you. I also brought up that I felt that she was no longer interested in our plans together and how that was making me sad and uncomfortable. She confirmed all my fears by saying she was not interested in it anymore. I love(d) her very, very, very much and am crushed that she does not want to have a life with me anymore. She confirmed it was nothing I did, which is right because nothing has changed for me. It was basically the whole "it's not you , it's me" thing. Bah!

I will say this, however. As mad and confused as I am about it, I am thankful I had her in my life. She helped me realize who I am and what I truly want...I am just sad that I cannot have it with her.

Reason, Season or Lifetime

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.