I am really irritated right now. I am looking for a place to live in Nelson, but no one will return my calls. I have tried to contact 5 different people to follow up on ads I have found online. Some of these ads were placed no more than a day or two before I called, so I can reasonably assume that the places have not been taken yet. Still waiting to hear about the money, which should happen by tomorrow or the next day. But if I can't find a place to live, that might be the end of the process of moving to Nelson. 

I am also really feeling lonely these days. I miss my ex. Which is stupid because I know it is not her I miss, but what I thought she was that I miss. I have been so tempted to call her or text her in the last few days but I know that if I do, she will either not want to talk to me, or I will find out that nothing has changed and it will lead nowhere. I am just lonely. 

I am starting to wonder if anything I want is ever going to happen. I know that sounds defeatist of me, and I try to stay positive...but I feel like I am doing everything I can to make things happen for me and I am getting nothing but resistance. I really believe that if you are doing something you should be, that if you are following the right path, that things will fall into place easily. It has been my experience that that is true. With all the walls I am running into at this point regarding this move and also with romantic things .. I am seriously starting to doubt if I am doing the right thing...but if this isn't the right thing then I have no idea what is. And that is terrifying.